Support Information for Friends and Family

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Social support can do a lot for someone who is depressed or has an anxiety disorder. You can help by offering understanding, patience, and encouragement.

Here are 10 specific points that can help you — and help you provide support for someone in treatment.

1. Encourage your loved one to stay on track with medication. Once your loved one starts taking medication, it may take time before you see any significant changes in behavior or mood. It's important to be patient and understanding, since it may take several weeks before symptoms start to improve. If you and your loved one have questions about his or her progress, or if your loved one is experiencing symptoms, encourage him or her to talk to a doctor.
2. Have realistic expectations. Don't think you can cure the condition, or that the depression or anxiety disorder will vanish overnight. Don't think that you alone can make your loved one better, even if you're able to get him or her to smile or seem less anxious for a moment or two. Realize, too, that you shouldn't expect yourself to be perfect — you simply cannot satisfy every possible need, no matter how hard you try.
3. Discuss the option of talk therapy. For some people, the combination of psychotherapy (also called "talk therapy") and an antidepressant medication is the most effective way to treat depression or an anxiety disorder and keep it from coming back. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 80% of patients with depression show at least some improvement when they receive appropriate treatment with medication, talk therapy, or both. Family therapy is a way to involve everyone in the healing process. Talk with your doctor to determine a treatment plan that works best for you.
4. Provide understanding and support. Although it's important to let your loved one know that you're there to help, be prepared to step back if he or she is not ready to accept what you want to give. It may be difficult to do this at first, but your loved one may gradually come to accept your aid. Make it clear that you want to work with him or her to manage the depression or anxiety disorder.
5. Maintain your daily routine as much as possible. It's natural to focus your attention and efforts on the person with depression or an anxiety disorder. But don't neglect your own personal life or stop doing things that interest you. Exercising, going to a movie, or attending religious services or social events may help. Remember to take care of yourself and to make sure your needs are being met; don't think you're being selfish.
6. Talk about your feelings. Sharing feelings and concerns can be difficult in any relationship, and depression or an anxiety disorder can make it even harder. However, don't be afraid to look for ways to solve any problems. And don't be surprised if negative — but completely normal — emotions come out. It's important to make it clear that you are trying to understand what your loved one is going through.
7. Don't take things personally. Even the healthiest intimate relationships can be strained by depression or an anxiety disorder. Remind yourself that your loved one's actions and symptoms are not personal attacks against you. Make sure you keep an eye on "the big picture" and concentrate on the remission process, rather than on small setbacks.
8. Allow yourself to get help when you need it. You, as a caregiver, need care as well. Don't feel guilty about your need to ask for help, whether it's from a support group or family members. Take a break every so often to do something that interests you, like going out for dinner with a friend or taking a class.
9. Set a good example by making healthy lifestyle choices. You can all benefit from adhering to good eating and exercise habits, as well as regular sleep schedules. If all members of the family avoid alcohol and tobacco, they can serve as role models for the person with depression or an anxiety disorder.
10. Work together against the depression or anxiety disorder. Make sure your loved one knows he or she is not alone during this difficult time. Keep the lines of communication open, and follow through when you agree to do something. Balance your needs with those of your loved one by being open; don't work against one another. Family support can help a person with depression or an anxiety disorder to cope more effectively.

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